Counseling and Support in Sulphur Springs Texas and Online
For anyone who has experienced losing a baby through stillbirth, loss due to prematurity, miscarriage, infant loss and more.
When we lost our daughter Rhiannon in 2013, we were forever altered.
Rhiannon was 39 weeks and as a result of a tangled cord, her cord became compressed and we lost her during labor. On March 4th she entered this world, having died before she was born.
As a trained CPT Trauma therapist, I was already professionally equipped to handle trauma and loss, but personally I also fully know and understand the unique experience of losing a child.
Pregnancy Loss has been a theme of my life, including recurrent miscarriages during fertility treatments, to a full term stillbirth of my first child.
I know the experience of burying my child, and I’ve stood by hundreds of women as we’ve walked the road of the first few years of grieving together.
There truly is nobody who understands Pregnancy Loss, Stillbirth, Miscarriage and Infant Loss like another mother who has been through the heartbreaking, life changing trauma of losing a child.
From miscarriage to stillbirth, I knew that when I was ready, I would give back to my sisterhood and community by using my personal experiences to offer professional services to help parents and families like us.
Attending counseling after our daughter died helped us to feel a little less alone, and more importantly, we were surrounded by the only other people who could truly understand- other child loss parents.
Each year in America, approximately 140,000 couples experience reproductive loss; about 147,000 experience a miscarriage, 1,750 babies are stillborn and about 850 babies die in the first 28 days after birth.
I offer Counseling to anyone who has experienced the loss of a child. This includes, but isn’t limited to:
- A Diagnosis of Incompatibility with Life, including both options of carrying to term and a Heartbreaking Choice
- Health Complications
I previously partnered with Baylor Mckinney to also help assist and teach their nursing staff on best practices and compassionate care to mothers and families who will be delivering locally following the words “I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat”.
You may have found this page because you know you are looking for help, but you aren’t always quite sure if you can ever feel better again.
Some of the emotions that you may experience include:
- Shock: you may initially feel numb or surprised, which can serve to protect you
- Denial: you may ignore or suppress your feelings entirely, because they are too intense to deal with
- Anger: over time, you may find yourself growing angry at the person who died, or at others around you, as you seek someone or something to blame for his or her death
- Guilt: you may think about what you did or did not do and how that could have saved the person
- Fear: this may be fear of the grieving process itself, or of the unknown
- Sadness: you may experience an overwhelming sense of loss, and sometimes this can be debilitating
- Anxiety: you may become sensitive to situations around you, which can result in an increased inability to focus or manage stress
- Relief: in some cases, a you may have known your baby or loved one was going to face health problems and you may feel some relief in the fact that that suffering was not prolonged, while feeling simultaneously guilty that you feel relief
Contrary to what some people may tell you, there is no “order” to how you should grieve.
Each person will move through such feelings in their own time and in their own order. It is the grieving process that allows us to move forward and learn to accept the reality of the loss.
In addition to the emotional impact of losing someone, you may experience physical symptoms such as nausea, dizziness, gastrointestinal problems, tightness in the chest or throat, or a “feeling of numbness.”
You may also find yourself preoccupied with thoughts of the person, resulting in a loss of concentration or motivation. These experiences may not happen to every person who is grieving, but if they do they can usually be considered a normal part of the process.
It is not easy to decide if or when you need the help of a trauma grief counselor to help you with your grief.
Most people find that counseling is helpful, even if they feel they could get along without it.
Counseling certainly will not hurt you if your counselor has some understanding of trauma following the sudden, violent death of a loved one and is committed to treating survivors with dignity and compassion.
These trauma grief symptoms can be misdiagnosed if the counselor is not fully aware of what you have experienced.
Some counselors are not aware that natural grieving often is NOT the same as clinical depression, and in fact is a natural response to an event.
Other common reactions among trauma survivors include:
- Unanticipated periods of crying (grief spasms);
- Dreams and flashbacks;
- Anger that is difficult to focus;
- Difficulty deciding what to do with mementos, clothing and other possessions of the deceased;
- Deep sadness, including irrational death wishes such as homicidal or suicidal fantasies; and/or
- Fear and anxiety, particularly about getting out in the community alone.
No one knows for sure how long you should grieve, how many symptoms you should expect, or how intense a particular symptom will be for you.
We do know that for most people, the grieving hurts and it lasts a long time.
The difference with grief counseling is that the goal is change how often those intense grieving moments happen, and provide you with a plan to walk through grief in a way that is less disorienting.
It also allows you to be able to think of your baby or loved one with out negative feelings always associated.
On the other hand, it is crucial for you to realize that you will feel better over time when you engage in healing behaviors. Time itself definitely does not heal wounds. It just marches on.
Most people know when they need professional help. They know because their symptoms are severe or because they are not improving.
Some know they need help because their emotional pain is too difficult to endure. They are exhausted, but can’t sleep because of disturbing thoughts, memories, or nightmares. Sleep deprivation leads to irritability, anger outbursts, and depression.
A professional trauma grief counselor can help you assess your thoughts, feelings, and symptoms to determine if they are appropriate to your loss and grief.
It is paradoxical that sometimes when you are feeling unsure, you are actually progressing well through your grief.
If you are better today than you were a week ago or a month ago, you are probably making reasonable progress. If you are the same or worse, you will probably benefit from help.
The most important rule in finding the right professional counselor is to trust your “gut” feelings.
If, after two or three sessions, you do not feel supported, understood, and comfortable, you have the right to go elsewhere.
You cannot get better in therapy unless you feel emotionally connected to the therapist in a way that makes you feel safe to share your thoughts and feelings honestly. Keep the following questions in mind throughout therapy:
Do I sense that my therapist is competent to work with people who are grieving?
Do I feel that my therapist cares about me and recognizes my needs, or is willing to ask?
Therapy can be painful. At the same time, you will find yourself looking forward to the sessions because you trust your counselor will treat you with dignity and compassion.
If that does not happen, you may want to find another therapist.
Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to see if we are the right fit for your situation.
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